A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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