I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
