Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Your face is a jimmy john
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
