a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize