this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
