i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
