oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
