More tranny stories later!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
