So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
