Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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