Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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