so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize