someone threw a dead crab at me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
