Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
