I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
