weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
