Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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