There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
