For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
