why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
