from now on my penis is your penis
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
