yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
