HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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