Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
