dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
