Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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