i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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