in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He? As in you personified your dick?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize