i don't like sucking hair
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
