Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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