Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
