You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
