you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
