There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
