Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
