U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
is wine microwaveable?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize