Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
