I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
