i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
