hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
