I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
should my penis look like a turkey
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
