You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
she pinky promised me she was 18
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
