I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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