Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
