I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
