Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
