We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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