so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
