just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
