ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
