Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So vagazzling was a success
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
