kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
