Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
