I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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