I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
