David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
