someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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