I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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