my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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