fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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