remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
