Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
