So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
honey bunches of taint.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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