doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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