kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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