Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
