Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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