is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
