i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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