He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
love makes seman taste better
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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