I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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