Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
