please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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