I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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