just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
