Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
